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As I was walking back to my dorm room, I thought at that time, maybe I was just not cut out for this suicide business. That was the last time I attempted suicide. I simply lost interest in doing it after that last encounter although I did thought about it several times later.One day, I was feeling moody and ended up going to her house. I needed some cheering up and she was always up for the challenge. She was always able to make me laugh when no one else could. That made her extremely special to me.It was the day I had a fight with my parents about the direction my life was going. My father thought that I was a lazy freeloader and I needed to start picking up my life and be a somebody. I personally thought that he should go stuff himself with something nasty, though I didn't say that out loud and definitely not in his face. Being someone who has been living with him for my entire life, I could tell for sure that such words would only send him to an early grave.I might be a worthless. She pointedly ignored my question, so I wisely let the subject lapse. Sometimes I was fortunate enough to remember not to stick my foot firmly between my molars, and that happened to be one of those times. We finished up lunch by not talking about the past weekend, nor mentioning the coming one.That afternoon I suited up with the rest of the team in my practice gear, and joined them as they headed out to the track to run some warm-up laps. I had removed the bindings from around my chest, and I was feeling deliciously free and reasonably healthy, now that I was down to just a small covering over my healing arm. That feeling lasted about three-quarters of the way around the track, until reality hit. I started trying to take deeper breaths as I jogged, and found that my ribs still were going to restrict me from exerting myself too much.I let Eric and Trent move out ahead of me as I slowed to a more sedate speed, trying to find a balance between my need for aerobic exercise and my.
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